What Is It Going To Take For Women Lawyers To Rise Up?

by Arezou Kohan

A pattern that I see on intake calls is people going to law school without “thinking things through.” Not thinking things through on how they are going to pay for the student loans.  Not thinking things through as to who they are here to serve, and how to serve them.   Indeed, many of us “fell into” some practice area, relieved that we had a job.  At some point we may realize that that J.O.B .  is not bringing us joy.   We may feel trapped.  Perhaps, feel like we are spiraling downward.  Operating on auto-pilot, without any intentionality, deliberation, plan, or strategy as to what we, uniquely, want and how to get there.

It is easy to blame the “patriarchy” – well, for everything.  However, how might we be getting in our own way?  What beliefs and stories are we telling ourselves that might be slowing our ascent? The answer necessarily involves taking stock of how valuable we are and the gifts that we bring to the table.   For instance, women enjoy an advantage in trust-building and leadership because we release more oxytocin (the bonding hormone), than men.  While stress can inhibit release of oxytocin, the presence of oxytocin can signal “trust” – which is indispensible for effective rainmaking and leadership.  Many are not aware of that advantage.  So many of us have been brow-beaten into believing that attunement, nurturing, bonding, and collaboration – things that many of us are naturally good at – are “weak.”  At the core of great leadership (and great rainmaking, for that matter) is love.  And, caring. And, listening. And, service. 

It is imperative for women are to rise that we stand in our power and know our worth. Not buy into the outdated beliefs that society may have foisted upon us.  But really, truly, deeply, comprehending what we bring to the table.  None of us can do this thing called “life,” alone.  Without sisterhood, community, fun, joy, and laughter.   Without feeling loved and supported.  When you let your light shine and stand in your personal power, you give permission to all those around you to do the same.  That will require some thought as to your true architectural design and what you are here to take a stand for, and build.

Arezou Kohan, Esq., CPCC helps lawyers create health & wealth.  She may be reached at:  http://www.arezoukohan.com/apply